INTRO: Twelfth Step

The twelfth step assumes a spiritual awakening: "Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry the message to other alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs."  In AA meetings that I attend, this statement is interpreted as both threat and promise.  For the person who has had a bad experience with religion, the suggestion that being and staying sober is somehow contingent on his or her having a spiritual awakening is terrifying.  For the alcoholic who is open to, and maybe even hopes for, a spiritual awakening, this statement is encouraging.

The second assumption made in the twelfth step is that the spiritual awakening that occurs is the result of these steps.  The step does not specify which ones (and the ones that make the biggest difference probably differ from alcoholic to alcoholic).  For me, the first step helped me more than any other during the first year, and then once the craving passed, the tenth step became essential to achieving and maintaining the emotional balance that is a hallmark of serenity.  The point is that the program brings about change worth celebrating.

One of my most satisfying moments in sobriety was sitting in a meeting in which a man whom I sponsor was recognized for completing his first year.  The changes in his life were obvious to me, as, I suspect that, the changes in me were, and are, obvious to my sponsors past and present.  Noticing the changes in somebody else, like noticing their faults when I was drinking, comes more naturally than noticing what is happening with me.

To me, the twelfth step is about helping another alcoholic to achieve sobriety, regardless of the form that this help takes.  Too often, this step is reduced to participating in interventions.  The "carrying the message" language certainly points to helping another alcoholic by assisting with an intervention, and yet there are other methods for sharing one's experience, strength and hope.

Following my DUI, I was not able to drive for a few weeks.  During that time, my sponsor would give me rides to two meetings per week.  One day, when he arrived to take me to one of these meetings, I said, "Thanks for working the 12th step!"  Meaning: By giving me a ride to a meeting, you are helping me to be sober, and I appreciate your generosity.  What he heard, however, was: "Thanks for coming to perform an intervention."  He panicked.  He thought that I had started drinking again until I was able to explain what I meant.  Later, we laughed about this episode after we shared our understandings of the twelfth step.

AA is not a linear program; it is cyclical.  The steps have to be practiced again and again and again.  When I come to the end of a cycle, I begin again, and hopefully, every time that I repeat the steps, I am able to dig more deeply into the principles behind them and to practice these principles with more confidence and serenity so that when I help other alcoholics, as a sponsor or as one who shares during meetings, they will be overwhelmed by the experience, strength and hope that has changed me.